As a black woman, going to an all girls school, with the majority of it being caucasian, for 10 1/2 years, I’ve learned a lot. Somethings for the worst and the best. If I were to give 3 things for any young black girl who is going to put themselves out there, this is what I would tell them:
1. Know Yourself
There will be a lot of…”awkwardness” for lack on a better term. Not only just the “Can I touch you hair?” and the “Why don’t you eat bacon?” or the “Can you braid my hair?” It’s going to be subtle. The “I wish I had a body like you.” or “I love your hair.” or “I really like your style.” Sure, these all seem like compliments you exchange around. Trust me when I say it gets really weird really quickly. When you look around and realize that everyone around you is flat chested, the only one with kinky 4B hair, the only one not wearing black leggings or white jeans. Although these are stereotypes, the concept is still very true. At the end of the day, you’ll feel isolated and different. So, to not let it consume you, own it. Own your differences, know your morals and values.
2. Don’t Assimilate
Although this feeds into the first one, but it’s so important, I had to give it it’s own part. I’m going to keep this short and sweet. Don’t be straightening your hair everyday because everyone else does it. Don’t wear black leggings everyday if you don’t want to. Don’t get addicted to Starbucks and pay for expensive lululemon that doesn’t fit. Don’t think your fat. Sure, if you want to do that, go ahead, but I doubt that’ll be healthy. When I say being yourself, not white or hood, will be extremely important, I mean it. Be you and only you.
3. Learn the Language
This also seems a bit odd. “We all speak english, what’s the point?” To put it into perspective, I’ll ask this. When was the last time you heard a caucasian female say “Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuurl I gotchu.” or “Periodt”. What about a caucasian male saying “No Cap.” Or any caucasian even type “ctfu!!!” or “Bet yo.” Of course, there will be the few that try it, but they end up sounding dumb and awkward so don’t pay them any mind. “So yeah, we talk different. How do I speak their language?” Well that’s for you to figure out. Observe. Don’t stop being you, but know your surroundings. Learn to articulate yourself in a slightly more professional way. So, maybe exchange “Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuurl I gotchu.” for “Pshh yeah I can do that with ease.” It’ll take some practice, but it’s important to understand the majority and to learn how to move with and through them.
